[ Oops. Was she supposed to stay mad? Honestly, if he were anyone else, she might have. This kind of behavior is pretty pathetic. But it's also kind of hard to be mad at someone who so clearly loathes himself. ]
I'm not going to tell you you're wrong about that, [ she says, in that plain way of hers when she thinks she's telling it like it is. ] We are going to very seriously fuck a lot of people up, and we'll be doing it to hurt them as much as possible. It is an incredibly shitty situation to have to be in!
[ ... ]
When I was alive, I did a lot of really sick shit to my friends. People I cared about. I crippled one of them, blinded another, and the third? I made her own boyfriend kill her.
[ The look on her face is kind of flat as she glances down at the sand. ]
I had always thought of them as being off-limits, you know? I never wanted to hurt them. I just ... always ended up doing it anyway. It was like I couldn't stop myself. I found out later there was more than one reason for that.
[ gestures loosely with one hand, rolling her wrist. ]
I was stuck in a temporal loop. We all were. Every single one of us had our actions predestined for us our entire lives. There was only one way everything could have gone. If I'd ever decided to leave my friends alone or not fuck with them so much, all that would have done is create a doomed offshoot timeline. The main timeline was always going to assert itself. The one in which I hurt and killed my friends over and over and over.
[ She'll sigh, stretching her arms over her head. ]
I had a lot of time to think about all of it after I died. Since I was destined to do it, did that make it not my fault? But I definitely decided to do those things, and when they happened, I told myself it was my own free will. And it was, I guess. I was making choices. Choices I knew would have shitty, awful fucking consequences. But I couldn't stop myself. And the timeline wouldn't have permitted me to in the first place.
[ Now she looks at him again, thoughtful and serious. ]
So that's why I'm not going to tell you you're a great guy for killing people, even if the whole point of it is to save everyone. We're going to be awful people making disgusting choices.
[ ... ]
But if you ask me, [ she says, quietly, gently pressing her fingertips to her chin, ] you don't have to be a good person to be a hero.
no subject
I'm not going to tell you you're wrong about that, [ she says, in that plain way of hers when she thinks she's telling it like it is. ] We are going to very seriously fuck a lot of people up, and we'll be doing it to hurt them as much as possible. It is an incredibly shitty situation to have to be in!
[ ... ]
When I was alive, I did a lot of really sick shit to my friends. People I cared about. I crippled one of them, blinded another, and the third? I made her own boyfriend kill her.
[ The look on her face is kind of flat as she glances down at the sand. ]
I had always thought of them as being off-limits, you know? I never wanted to hurt them. I just ... always ended up doing it anyway. It was like I couldn't stop myself. I found out later there was more than one reason for that.
[ gestures loosely with one hand, rolling her wrist. ]
I was stuck in a temporal loop. We all were. Every single one of us had our actions predestined for us our entire lives. There was only one way everything could have gone. If I'd ever decided to leave my friends alone or not fuck with them so much, all that would have done is create a doomed offshoot timeline. The main timeline was always going to assert itself. The one in which I hurt and killed my friends over and over and over.
[ She'll sigh, stretching her arms over her head. ]
I had a lot of time to think about all of it after I died. Since I was destined to do it, did that make it not my fault? But I definitely decided to do those things, and when they happened, I told myself it was my own free will. And it was, I guess. I was making choices. Choices I knew would have shitty, awful fucking consequences. But I couldn't stop myself. And the timeline wouldn't have permitted me to in the first place.
[ Now she looks at him again, thoughtful and serious. ]
So that's why I'm not going to tell you you're a great guy for killing people, even if the whole point of it is to save everyone. We're going to be awful people making disgusting choices.
[ ... ]
But if you ask me, [ she says, quietly, gently pressing her fingertips to her chin, ] you don't have to be a good person to be a hero.